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Pitch
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TAGLINE
Everything else you wanted to know about sex

LOGLINE
Entitled and embattled businesswoman Julie Halters inherits a Los Angeles-based bathhouse, forcing her to deal with her own sexist, racist, and homophobic attitudes when faced with the sexist, racist, and ageist attitudes of her the staff. This innovative adult comedy throws a humorous spotlight on America’s prejudices, frailties and inconsistencies by showing, in a mature fashion, how we are all bound by them and how absurd they are.

Season One Overview

Overbearing, obnoxious, and manipulative businesswoman Julie Halters has acquired a massive fortune in her half-century of life. However, when she participates in insider trading, her fortune and prestige are taken away. When her estranged grandfather passes away and bequeaths her a spa on the edge of downtown Los Angeles, she jumps at the chance to reestablish herself. To her shock and horror, the spa is not a health or beauty spa, but a gay bathhouse staffed with a culturally diverse group of men who don't take kindly to a privileged White woman managing their beloved workplace. Despite the fact she has a fiancé, Julie inadvertently realizes her attraction to the gay assistant manager, David, when he finds himself attracted to one of the bathhouse patrons. Her thoughts on converting this gay man and her prejudicial views on race and gender politics clash bitterly with her staff's ideals. They eventually take leaves of absence due to the increasing tension. Julie follows suit when David wonders about his HIV status. David and the remaining staff work harmoniously until a fiasco-ridden night dedicated to the leather community overwhelms them, and he decides he needs to bring his crew back together. Although bridges are mended when the entire crew attends a team-building workshop, Julie is still unconvinced about her role in managing the bathhouse and considers selling it. She is relieved to find that David is HIV- and the two have an intimate moment. Julie participates in the L.A. Gay Pride parade, much to the chagrin of her father and fiancé. But it is revealed that she has indeed sold the bathhouse to her father because she plans to leave her fiancé and needs money to take care of her unborn child, a child fathered by David.

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Episodes
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  • Pitch
    Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk is a novel made up of stories: Twenty-three of them, to be precise. Twenty-three of the most horrifying, hilarious, mind-blowing, stomach-churning tales you'll ever encounter-sometimes all at once. They are told by people who have answered an ad headlined "Writers' Retreat: Abandon Your Life for Three Months," and who are led to believe that here they will leave behind all the distractions of "real life" that are keeping them from creating the masterpiece that is in them. But "here" turns out to be a cavernous and ornate old theater where they are utterly isolated from the outside world-and where heat and power and, most important, food are in increasingly short supply. And the more desperate the circumstances become, the more extreme the stories they tell-and the more devious their machinations become to make themselves the hero of the inevitable play/movie/nonfiction blockbuster that will surely be made from their plight. Haunted is on one level a satire of reality television-The Real World meets Alive. It draws from a great literary tradition-The Canterbury Tales, The Decameron, the English storytellers in the Villa Diodati who produced, among other works, Frankenstein-to tell an utterly contemporary tale of people desperate that their story be told at any cost. Appallingly entertaining, Haunted is Chuck Palahniuk at his finest-which means his most extreme and his most provocative.
  • Character Bios
    Brandon Whittier Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. Tess Clark Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. Saint Gut-Free Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. Mother Nature Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. Miss America Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. Lady Baglady (Evelyn Keyes) Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. The Earl of Slander Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. The Duke of Vandals (Terry Fletcher) Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. Director Denial Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. Reverend Godless Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. The Matchmaker Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. Sister Vigilante Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. Chef Assassin (Richard Talbott) Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. Comrade Snarky Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. Agent Tattletale (Eugene Denton) Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. The Missing Link Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. The Countess Foresight (Claire Upton) Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. The Baroness Frostbite (Miss Leroy) Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida. Miss Sneezy (Lisa Noonan) Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean tincidunt odio ac turpis lacinia congue. Sed sagittis tortor eu maximus malesuada. Phasellus hendrerit euismod magna, sed consectetur dolor vulputate gravida.
  • Format
    Each of the book's chapters contains three sections: a story chapter, which acts as a framing device for the otherwise unconnected short stories; a poem about a particular writer on the tour, its author being unspecified; and the short story written by that writer. The main story centers on a group of seventeen individuals (all of whom go by nicknames based on the story they tell) who have decided to participate in a secret writers' retreat, frequently compared by characters to the Villa Diodati retreat of 1816. After having noticed an invitation to the retreat posted on the bulletin board of a cafe in Oregon, the characters follow instructions on the invitation to meet Mr. Whittier, the retreat's organizer. Whittier tells them to each wait for a bus to pick them up the next morning and bring only what they can fit into one piece of luggage (in particular, only what they feel they need most). The next day, the seventeen characters, Whittier, and his assistant Mrs. Clark are driven to an abandoned theatre. Whittier locks all of them inside the theatre, telling them they have three months to each write a magnum opus before he will allow them to leave. In the meantime, they will have enough food and water to survive, as well as heat, electricity, bedrooms, bathrooms, and a clothes washing and drying machine provided. The characters live under harmless conditions at first. However, the group (not including Whittier or Clark) eventually decide that they could make a better story of their own suffering inside the theatre, and thereby become rich after the public discovers their fate. They then begin to individually sabotage the food and utilities provided to them, with each character trying to only destroy one food or utility to slightly increase the drama of their stay. Since the characters are not co-ordinating their plans, they end up destroying all their food and utilities, forcing all of them to struggle to survive starvation, cold, and darkness. With Whittier accidentally dying from a stomach rupture, the writers find themselves trapped without him. Believing a great increase in their suffering will provide a better story for when they're rescued, several writers start to willingly engage in self-mutilation and cannibalism, doing so to give the pretense Whittier tortured them. With numerous characters committing suicide, killing one another, or succumbing to their ailments, they continue to formulate their story whilst the theatre somehow repairs its broken utilities. With numerous people dead, Mrs. Clark included, the writers continue to sabotage themselves, such as destroying the lighting and wasting any additional food supplies they find. The eleven remaining writers eventually group in the main theatre, only for Whittier to appear and reveal he faked his death (with Clark's help) and has been observing the writers through hidden cameras. Informing the writers their three months have passed and that they are free to leave, Whittier notes that, by continuing to blame him for everything and playing the victim to extreme extents, they haven't acted any differently from the other groups. Whittier unlocks the exit and leaves with Miss Sneezy, choosing her as the person he saves and offering her a new life. Mother Nature, objecting that they need to wait a little longer for other writers to die and for someone to rescue them, stabs Miss Sneezy. To prevent Whittier from leaving with her, they drag Miss Sneezy back inside and break the lock, and continue to wait for rescue.
  • Episodes
    EPISODE 1: GUTS AND FOOT WORK An abnormally skinny man who, following a masturbation accident involving a pool filter, lost part of his lower intestine and A reflexologist and homeopathic therapy expert who was once employed in prostitution based around her skills with reflexology. She has joined the retreat to escape the Russian Mafia, after becoming an accessory to the murder of her friend's pimp. Download Episode One: Guts and Foot Work EPISODE 2: GREEN ROOM AND SLUMMING A pregnant model who wants to become famous by promoting an exercise device on daytime television and An old money woman who, along with her husband, used to pretend to be homeless as a cure for boredom. After she and her husband witness a crime leading to the murder of a wealthy Brazilian heiress, her husband is murdered by the killers, and a string of homeless people are murdered in the search for her. She comes to the retreat to escape the people who want to kill her. Download Episode Two: Green Room and Slumming EPISODE 3: SWAN SONG AND DOG YEARS A reporter who murders a former child star to frame him for collecting child pornography, so that he can write a Pulitzer Prize-winning article about it and A wheelchair-bound rich man who owns the abandoned theatre and hosts the writers' retreat. Though he appears to be a very old man, he is in fact a thirteen-year-old boy who suffers from progeria. He amassed his wealth by convincing middle-aged married women to sleep with him by telling them that he was an eighteen-year-old virgin, then blackmailing them into giving him money in exchange for silence. EPISODE 4: AMBITION AND POST PRODUCTION An amateur artist who sneaks paintings into museums. He later becomes a respected professional when he murders a famous artist as a favor to the man's patron. Believing he will suffer the same fate as the man he killed, he has come to the retreat to escape his employers and A housewife turned failed amateur porn actress. Her teenage daughter Cassandra suddenly disappeared, only to be found three months later suffering from severe physical and mental trauma. Learning Cassandra was at Whittier's retreat and that her wounds were self-inflicted, Tess becomes curious as to what her daughter experienced. Upset Cassandra would never return to normal, Tess later euthanized her daughter by overdose, only to be discovered by the police. Now a fugitive, Tess became Whittier's assistant to escape the police and learn what her daughter experienced. EPISODE 5: EXODUS AND PUNCH DRUNK A social worker at a police station. She brings with her a cat named Cora Reynolds, named after its former owner, a co-worker who killed herself trying to stop police officers from using anatomically correct child dolls for sexual purposes and A former Marine who, with a group of soldiers, raises money by lip-syncing in drag and allowing annoyed people to assault them for a fee. He used the funds raised to start a war on religion. EPISODE 6: RITUAL AND THE NIGHTMARE BOX A man who dresses similar to a cowboy. After his girlfriend denied his marriage proposal, he hired a male prostitute to ruin her idea of the perfect man and change her mind. Rather than being autobiographical, his story is an extended "joke" he learned from his uncles, which is in fact an anecdote about a freak castration accident in a Nazi POW camp that saved their lives and A housewife turned failed amateur porn actress. Her teenage daughter Cassandra suddenly disappeared, only to be found three months later suffering from severe physical and mental trauma. Learning Cassandra was at Whittier's retreat and that her wounds were self-inflicted, Tess becomes curious as to what her daughter experienced. Upset Cassandra would never return to normal, Tess later euthanized her daughter by overdose, only to be discovered by the police. Now a fugitive, Tess became Whittier's assistant to escape the police and learn what her daughter experienced. EPISODE 7: CIVIL TWILIGHT AND PRODUCT PLACEMENT A religious woman who carries a bowling ball, with which she may or may not have killed people and A professional chef who murders critics who write negative reviews of his cooking. He uses the murders to blackmail knife manufacturers, threatening to tell the world that he uses only their knives to commit his deeds. EPISODE 8: SPEAKING BITTERNESS AND CRIPPLED A woman who is critical of other women's looks. As a child, her parents divorced and her mother continually warned her that her father might sexually abuse her. Whilst never occurred, she has been wary and critical of men for her entire life as a result. She came to the writers' retreat after she and the members of a women's retreat sexually assaulted an individual; believing the individual to be a post-operative male-to-female transsexual, they assaulted her for having been born male and A man who continued to receive out of worker's compensation after he recovered from a severe injury. Killing a private investigator with evidence he has committed fraud, he takes the investigator's job and is almost killed by a woman on whom he spied. EPISODE 9: DISSERTATION AND POSTER CHILD A member of the Chewlah tribe, who are claimed can transform into sasquatches. Dating a woman who claims a certain plane crash was caused by a girl sasquatch, The Missing Link states his sister was the girl in question and A housewife turned failed amateur porn actress. Her teenage daughter Cassandra suddenly disappeared, only to be found three months later suffering from severe physical and mental trauma. Learning Cassandra was at Whittier's retreat and that her wounds were self-inflicted, Tess becomes curious as to what her daughter experienced. Upset Cassandra would never return to normal, Tess later euthanized her daughter by overdose, only to be discovered by the police. Now a fugitive, Tess became Whittier's assistant to escape the police and learn what her daughter experienced. EPISODE 10: SOMETHING’S GOT TO GIVE AND HOT POTTING A woman with psychic powers who experiences visions from touching objects. She was arrested for murdering the owner of an antique shop, who would not let her touch items; the items included the unborn child of Marilyn Monroe located in a milky jar of fluid. Believing the man to be Monroe's murderer, she killed him to get the antique, only to learn it was fake. She now wears an electronic tracking bracelet as part of the terms of her parole and A former employee of the White River Lodge, she tried to rescue a chef she employed after he fell into a nearby hot springs, only to lose her lips to frostbite in the process. EPISODE 11: CASSANDRA AND EVIL SPIRITS A housewife turned failed amateur porn actress. Her teenage daughter Cassandra suddenly disappeared, only to be found three months later suffering from severe physical and mental trauma. Learning Cassandra was at Whittier's retreat and that her wounds were self-inflicted, Tess becomes curious as to what her daughter experienced. Upset Cassandra would never return to normal, Tess later euthanized her daughter by overdose, only to be discovered by the police. Now a fugitive, Tess became Whittier's assistant to escape the police and learn what her daughter experienced and A woman with chronic sinus problems. She claims to carry an incurable airborne disease, and was contained on an island quarantine facility by the government. Required to wear an insulated suit and oxygen mask when outdoors, she used the airtight suit to escape the island by swimming underwater to the nearest coast. EPISODE 12: OBSOLETE AND HOW THE WORLD WILL LOVE US A wheelchair-bound rich man who owns the abandoned theatre and hosts the writers' retreat. Though he appears to be a very old man, he is in fact a thirteen-year-old boy who suffers from progeria. He amassed his wealth by convincing middle-aged married women to sleep with him by telling them that he was an eighteen-year-old virgin, then blackmailing them into giving him money in exchange for silence.
  • Addendum
Format

In the traditional approach to television comedy, Bathhouse Betty’s Diaries is a live-action, multi-camera, thirty-minute sitcom in which our anti-heroine Julie Halters, an overbearing businesswoman, inherits a gay bathhouse staffed with an eclectic group of men who force her to face her own belief system, which she slowly realizes is quite prejudicial.

The multi-camera aspect of the series is an intentional device that gives the show the spirit of live theater. Bathhouse Betty’s Diaries touches on a number of provocative topics, and the energy and participation of a live audience will provide the subject matter the immediate gravitas and emotional gratification it deserves.  

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Tone
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A creative reimagining of the television show “Cheers” at a bathhouse, this workplace comedy will have the “Caucasian-fish-thrown-into-an-ethnic-pond” feel of “Orange Is the New Black,” the LGBT awareness of “Queer As Folk” and the frank racial awareness of “Dear White People.”

SEXUAL POLITICS
Taking place within a gay bathhouse, Bathhouse Betty’s Diaries will discuss sex and sexual politics specific to LGBT communities, including men on the DL, ageism, sizeism, racism, HIV, tops and bottoms, heteronormativity, and leather and Bear communities.

 

LOS ANGELES
Though most of the show will take place within the confines of the bathhouse, the culture, flavor, and energy of modern-day Los Angeles will play a significant part in the character’s motivations and attitudes. LA Gay Pride will play a particularly special part of the first season as many plot points and character revelations will occur during the world-famous LA Gay Pride Parade.

Character Bios

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DAVID RILEY 

M, 30s, African American

 

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Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. In odio justo, condimentum et nisl eget, sagittis faucibus mauris. 

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